Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Office Prank - Fake Stabbing

With April Fool's Day coming up, a good office prank may be just what you need. One of the biggest problems with April Fool's Day is that everybody knows it's April Fool's Day, thus making playing jokes and pranks on people that much more difficult. However, with the following prank, you'll use that knowledge against people by basically doing an obvious prank first with a partner and then having an over-the-top reaction to that prank that may just catch people by surprise.


Requirements:

  • Time (low) - very little time required here.
  • Cost (low) - you'll want to get yourself a trick knife with disappearing blade or other fake weapon. I'd highly recommend against using any kind of gun, this prank is risky enough.
  • Risk (high) - you're going to want to make sure you only do this if your office has a VERY good sense of humor. I, personally, would probably never do this prank just because I'd be too afraid of somebody getting to upset by it.

Steps:

  1. Grab yourself a partner for this. You're going to need to plan with them ahead of time some sort of easy prank for them to pull on you. Something that's quick and public. Something along the lines of them just putting a "kick me" sign on your back or something in front of a bunch of people.
  2. When your partner pulls the prank off on you, you're going to need to do some decent acting to pretend that you are not only surprised by their actions but that you are incredibly pissed off at their prank. Make lots of noise, you're going to have to sell that you've pretty much lost it.
  3. Now, depending on how far you want to take this, you either pull out your fake knife, your fist, or some other "weapon" you can use to pretend to strike your partner with. Your partner then needs to fake being cut, knocked out, or whatever else he/she needs to do to make your actions believable.

Result:

It should be pretty obvious what happens next. Either you get fired, sued, or your prank danced between being "too" real and funny. Because you are basically doing a prank of a prank, you should be able to pull this off on April Fool's Day because people will expect the first prank done by your partner but won't expect your reaction (as long as you sell it).

Again, I stress that this is a very risky prank since office violence is a very serious matter and doing a prank that involves you pretending to attack a coworker can have serious implications. However, if you have a very relaxed work environment with a bunch of friends you can joke around with, it's up to you whether or not you think this prank is okay.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Joke 599: Blond Painter

A man went into the office kitchen one morning and found a beautiful blond woman painting the walls. She was wearing a fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a bit strange, he asked her why she was wearing such nice clothes rather than overalls.

The blonde simply sighed and showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats."

[tags]blond joke, painting joke[/tags]

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Joke 598: The Maid

A guy dials his home phone number and a strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?"

"This is the maid," answers the woman.

"We don't have a maid," says the man.

The woman says, "I was hired this morning by the lady of the house."

The man says, "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"

The woman replies, "She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband."

The guy is fuming and says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"

The maid says, "What will I have to do?"

The man tells her, "I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with."

The maid puts the phone down and the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots. The maid comes back to the phone, "What do I do with the bodies?"

The man says, "Throw them in the swimming pool."

Puzzled, the maid answers, "But you don't have a pool."

The man pauses for a moment and says, "Ummmm… Is this 555-3248?"

[tags]maid joke[/tags]

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Joke 597: New Cowboy Boots

An elderly couple named Sam and Helen are vacationing in the West. Sam always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots and seeing some on sale one day, he buys them, wears them back to the hotel, walking proudly. He walks into their hotel room and says to his wife, "Notice anything different, Helen?"

Helen looks him over, "Nope."

Sam says excitedly, "Come on, Helen, take a good look. Notice anything different about me?"

Helen looks again and again says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Sam storms off into the bathroom, undresses and walks back into the room completely naked except for his boots. Again, he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT?"

Helen looks up and says, "Sam, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Sam yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, HELEN? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"

To which Helen replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Sam, shoulda bought a hat."

[tags]senior joke, cowboy boots[/tags]

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Joke 596: Death of a Consultant

A consultant dies on in a fishing accident on his 40th birthday and finds himself greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band. Saint Peter runs over, shakes his hand and says, "Congratulations!"

"Congratulations for what?" asks the consultant.

"We are celebrating the fact that you lived to be 160 years old," Saint Peter exclaims.

"But that's not true," says the consultant. "I only lived to be 40."

"That's impossible," says Saint Peter, "we added up your time sheets."

[tags]consultant joke[/tags]

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Joke 595: Pricey Parrots

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says, "The parrot to the left costs $500."

"Why does the parrot cost so much?" the customer asks.

The owner says, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."

The customer asks about the next parrot and is told, "That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."

Naturally, the increasingly startled man asks about the third parrot and is told, "That one costs $2,000."

Needless to say this begs the question, "What can IT do?"

The owner replies "To be honest I’ve never seen it do a thing but the other two call him boss!"

[tags]parrot joke, boss joke[/tags]

Monday, February 25, 2008

Joke 594: Golf Score

"What's your golf score?" the country club interviewer asked the prospective new member.

"Well, not so good," replied the golfer. "It's 69."

"Hey, that's not bad. In fact, it's very good."

"Glad you think so," the golfer confided. "I'm hoping to do even better on the next hole."

[tags]golf joke, golf score, 69[/tags]

Friday, February 8, 2008

Joke 593: Caught in the Act

A guy came home early and found his wife in bed with another man. "What the hell are you doing?" shouted the irate husband.

"See," the wife said to the man lying beside her. "Didn't I tell you that he doesn't know a thing about sex?"

[tags]adultery joke, sex joke[/tags]

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Joke 592: Golf Accident

A man staggers into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the doctor asks him what happened.

"Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows. We went to look for it and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. "That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, ‘Hey, this looks like yours!’"

[tags]golf joke, wife humor[/tags]

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Joke 591: Doctor's Orders

A middle management executive has to take on some sport by his doctor's orders, so he decides to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine," the manager says. "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding toward me, my brain immediately says, 'To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!'"

"Really? What happens then?" the secretary asks.

"Then my body says, 'Who? Me? You must be kidding!'"

[tags]tennis joke, office joke[/tags]