Office Humor Blog

Looking for ways to fool your bosses into thinking you’re hard at work? The following video demonstrates a funny and original method that may just work for you (as long as you have a window that is).

Tags: government employee humor, pretending to work

A middle management executive has to take on some sport by his doctor’s orders, so he decides to play tennis.

After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he’s doing.

“It’s going fine,” the manager says. “When I’m on the court and I see the ball speeding toward me, my brain immediately says, ‘To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!’”

“Really? What happens then?” the secretary asks.

“Then my body says, ‘Who? Me? You must be kidding!’”

Tags: tennis joke, office joke

A shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign reading, “BEST DEALS.”

He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign reading, “LOWEST PRICES.”

The shopkeeper panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop. It read: “MAIN ENTRANCE.”

Tags: shop signs, business joke

People who think they are about to be fired can do some incredibly stupid things. You know, like tell off their boss or steal an office stapler or two. Sometimes, they take things much worse, like deleting $2.5 million worth of architectural drawings off company computers.

Perhaps the worst part of the whole thing is that the woman wasn’t actually going to be fired. She saw a classified ad that seemed to describe her job and she wrongly assumed she was being replaced when, in fact, the ad was for an entirely different company.

File that under undo… UNDO!

Tags: fired, deleting files, architectural drawings

Find yourself in loads of debt? Why not be like 1 in 4 people and blame sex for your financial troubles. You’re not just lazy or financially irresponsible… no! Your main problem is your obsession with sex!

Ok, so the people weren’t really blaming sex, they merely admitted to paying for sex either directly (brothels and hookers) or indirectly (internet bills for porn sites or premium rate telephone sex calls). Some of them lost their jobs due to being obsessed with sex while others worked themselves into a financial hole with legal fees pertaining to sexual harassment cases.

File that under if it’s sex or money, I choose sex.

Tags: financial troubles

Peyton Manning, Tony Romo and Tom Brady go to heaven to visit God and watch the Celtics play a game. God decides who will sit next to him by asking the boys a question.

God asks Peyton Manning first, “What do you believe?” Peyton thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my fans.” God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Manning, and offers him a seat to his left.

Then God turns to Tony Romo and says, “What do you believe?” Tony says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage, and honor are the fundamentals of life. I too have been lucky, but win or lose I’ve always tried to be a true sportsman, both on and off the field.” God is greatly moved by Tony’s sincere eloquence, and he offers him a seat to his right.

Finally, God turns to Tom Brady and says, “And you, Tom, what do you believe?” Tom replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”

Tags: god joke, football joke

Sometimes it’s the simplest pranks that are the best. For instance, the good ‘ol chair pulling gag. If your office is set up with some low-wall cubicles, you should be able to pull back the chairs of unsuspecting coworkers while they’re busy standing up talking on the phone, reading papers, organizing their desk, or doing anything else that may leave them open to this oldie-but-goodie.

Tags: chair pull prank, office pranks

Judge: “Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this
case?”

Juror: “I don’t want to be away from my job for that long.”

Judge: “Can’t they do without you at work?”

Juror: “Yes, but I don’t want them to know that.”

Tags: jury duty joke

The 2007 Darwin Awards have been posted, with entries including a person dying from alcohol poisoning via alcohol enemas, a woman being killed by an elevator after sticking her head down a shaft, and a “shortcut” race across a multi-lane road during a thunderstorm.

You’d think after all the Darwin awards given out that the population would slowly be weeding out the idiots… but apparently there’s plent of stupidity left out there and evolution just doesn’t seem to be able to keep up.

File that under Darwin’s dead, stupidity lives on.

Tags: 2007 Darwin Awards

It was obvious to Mom and Dad that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie without their 9-year-old son hanging around was to send him out on the balcony. So they ordered him to report on all the neighborhood activities.

The boy began his commentary, “There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he said. “An ambulance just drove by. It looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out. “Max is riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex.”

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. “How do you know that?” the startled father asked.

“Their kid is standing out on the balcony too.”

Tags: quickie joke