Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
Same work... more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100. 'Nuff said...
If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
Princess Di's death was just another obituary.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or irreparably mangle your feet.
Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"
[tags]guy humor[/tags]