If you’re looking for some poker related humor, you may want to check out the newly launched Poker Sensei. Yeah, ok, so it’s one of my sites, but hopefully you’ll still find it enjoyable and a great diversion from boring office work.
The site is basically an over-the-top poker humor blog covering poker news, strategies, and an “Ask Sensei” section where people can ask the all knowing Poker Sensei question on anything related to poker. Of course, the “Ask Sensei” section will also be populated with fun made-up questions for everybody to laugh at and enjoy so that there’s always something new to read.
Tags: poker humor
11. Say, ‘Interesting… more floaters than sinkers.’
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, ‘Whoops, could you kick that back over here please?’
13. Say, ‘C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me.’
14. Fill a balloon with creamed corn. Rush into the stall with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for breakfast.
15. Say, ‘Boy, that sure looks like a maggot.’
16. Say, ‘Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?’
17. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
18. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your ‘Cross-Dressers Anonymous’ newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
19. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, ‘Peek-a-boo!’
20. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing ‘Born Free’.
Tags: bathroom humor
Competition in the workplace can definitely be effective, but for the following animated doctors, it’s just plain funny.
Tags: doctor humor, funny video
1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, ‘May I borrow a highlighter?’
2. Say, ‘Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t have put my lips on that.’
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, ‘Damn, this water’s cold.’
5. Drop a marble and say, ‘Oh shit! My glass eye!’
6. Say, ‘Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.’
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantelope into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, ‘Now how did that get there?’
9. Say, ‘Humus. Reminds me of humus.’
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, ‘Whoa! Easy boy!’
Tags: bathroom humor
Last week a man returned home from a mission in Mexico to see the outside of his house completely wrapped in newspaper (link contains photos). The pranksters were the victim’s friends and they say it only took about 3 hours to completely wrap the outside of the house.
You can definitely apply this prank idea to your office and your fellow coworkers. Instead of a house, you can easily wrap their entire cubicle in newspaper, similar to the post it prank and tin foil prank. Maybe you could string together a few weeks of pranks, wrapping a coworker’s cubicle in different materials each week?
File that under does anybody still read newspapers?
Tags: newspaper prank, prank ideas
A man was carrying 2 babies, one in each arm while waiting for a train. Along came this woman, seeing the 2 cute babies, started asking the man, “Aren’t they cute, what are their names?”
The man giving the lady an angry look replied, “I don’t know”.
The lady asked again, “Which is a boy and which is a girl?”.
The man looking angrier than before replied, “I don’t know”.
The woman then started to scold the man, “What kind of a father are you?”.
The man replied, “I am not their father, I am just a condom salesman and these are 2 complaints that I am taking back to my company.”
Tags: condom joke, sales joke, baby humor
In an odd twist, some Houston oil companies are making a push to provide incentives for employees to commute using bicycles rather than gas guzzling automobiles. The incentives include providing lockers, showers, and safe places to keep their bikes.
What a concept… pay your employees for not supporting your product. Now we just need electric companies to just give incentives for it’s employees to use candles, water companies to promote milk, and television companies to run book drives.
File that under loyalty is not to be rewarded.
Tags: oil alternatives, bicycle commuting
Love is grand; divorce is at least a hundred grand.
Time may be a great healer, but it’s also a lousy beautician.
Remember: amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.
Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.
Even if you are on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just stand there.
My inferiority complex is not as good as yours is.
I am having an out of money experience.
It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
Tags: funny quotes, life quotes
A Wisconsin bar owner didn’t think it would be a big deal passing off Coors Light as Miller Lite, but apparently the authorities disagreed as he was repremanded and fined.
The hilarity isn’t really that he tried selling Coors as Miller, but rather the bar owner’s responses. For example, “I didn’t think nothing was tragic about it” and “I didn’t lie to nobody.” He’s mastery of double negatives is truly inspirational.
File that under I didn’t not know that it’s never not a crime.
Tags: bar owner, Miller Lite, Coors Light
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won’t take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don’t we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It’s a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you’re supposed to judge people on personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.
Tags: naked joke, naked humor
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