Office Humor Blog

• Say, “Help! I’m being robbed! He’s got a gun!”
• Communicate only through Morse code.
• Talk to the telemarketer. During the conversation dial the phone, and ask for Bill. Do this repeatedly.
• Try to sell the telemarketer something.
• Act drunk.
• Turn on your shower. Say that you are on a portable phone and are really late for an important meeting. Scream as though you were electrocuted.
• Ask him/her if he/she can smell bacon. Insist that there is a strong scent of bacon over the phone.
• Ask if he/she has been to Australia. Regardless of his/her answer ask if you can buy a boomerang and didgeridoo.
• If he/she says “No”, insist that he/she buy yours.
• If he/she says “Yes”, ask if he/she will take a strange currency.
• Pretend to be an escaped mental patient. Mutter things like, “They’ll never catch me again,” “No! Not the jacket! No, no, no!” After saying one of these mutter incoherently.
• Make him/her dance for a sale. Claim that you won’t buy because you couldn’t see him/her dance.
• Make him/her sing to get a sale.
• If a male sings, claim that he sounds like Brittany Spears.
• If a female sings, claim that she sounds like Barry White.
• Pretend to be really interested. Then say, “No.”
• Engage him/her in an “intellectual” conversation on an extremely boring subject.
• Say nothing until he/she hangs up.
• Say, “I told you. I don’t know where your dog is!” Then hang up.
• Keep crackers near the phone. When a telemarketer calls eat the crackers. Chew loudly, make slurping noises, and talk with your mouth full. If you want pretend that you are choking.
• After he/she hangs up, use *69 or Caller ID to get the phone number. Call the telemarketer.
• Ask the telemarketer for his/her home phone number. Claim that you need some time to think, and that you’ll get back to them.
• If he/she is selling a newspaper or magazine, go on and on about how great another newspaper/magazine is.
• Pretend you are a telemarketer from a rival company. Get him/her to buy your product.
• Say, “Yes” immediately to whatever they are selling and hang up immediately afterwards.

Tags: telemarketer humor