Office Humor Blog

• Talk really fast.
• Turn on the TV. Change the channel to one that only gets static. Turn the volume up really loud. Say that you can’t hear them over the static.
• Make up your own language. Speak it.
• Hang up.
• Make up a one word language. Speak it.
• Say, “This phone line is for emergency use only. Do you have an emergency?”
• If they say “Yes” to having an emergency say, “Please state the nature of the emergency.” Then insist that their emergency isn’t an emergency. Hang up.
• If they say “No” to number having an emergency say, “I’m sorry but this line is for emergencies only.” Hang up.
• Pretend you just took hostages, and make demands.
• Pretend that you are a hostage negotiator, and try to get the telemarketer to release the hostages.
• Order a large pepperoni pizza, some garlic bread, and a meatball sub.
• Pretend that your phone line is an automatic phone sex line.
• Dial the phone and say, “Hey! I lent you 50 bucks. You better pay up or else I’m gonna come over there and hurt you! “
• Repeatedly dial the phone. Mutter that it isn’t ringing.
• Claim to be the mafia.
• Say, “Moe’s tavern Moe speaking.”
• Say something that Moe would say to Bart after Bart makes a prank call.
• Ask him/her if he/she would like a magazine or newspaper subscription.
• Ask the telemarketer to find your friend Mike last name Rotch. Claim you will only buy a subscription from them.
• Say, “Oh no! It’s the Feds! They’re on to us!”
• Claim to be the FBI. Say, “This is the Federal Bureau of Investigation. How may I help you?”
• Dial *69. Wait about a minute and say, “Damn unreliable *69.”
• Speak a foreign language.
• If you do the previous one and the telemarketer gets a person who speaks the language you used, speak another language, use a made up language, or say that you were speaking English the whole time.
• Pretend that the telemarketer is your husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Talk sexually, making references to what you are going to do to him/her later tonight. When you “realize” that you are not speaking to your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend yell, “Pervert!” Slam the phone down to hang up.

Tags: telemarketer humor