It may not have been an office prank, but it’s a great prank indead when a student tricks an opposing football team’s fans into holding up signs that, when raised together, spell out “We Suck”.
It’s unfortunate the student and two of his accomplices got suspended as it was a harmless prank that really was quite ingenious. Students prank rival schools all the time, it’s part of the fun of having a rival for crying out loud.
File that under now to trick my coworkers into doing the same thing…
Tags: school prank, football prank
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, “Mommy, why is my name Petal?”
The mother replied, “Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head.”
The next baby walked up and asked, “Mommy, why is my name Rose?” she replied.
“Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head.” The last baby walked up to her and said, “BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRASSAM TASSM POONNFFFIINRTY.”
The mother replied, “Please be quiet, Fridge.”
Tags: baby name jokes
A young teenaged girl was a prostitute and, for obvious reasons, kept it a secret from her grandma. One day, the police raided a brothel and arrested a group of prostitutes, including the young girl. The prostitutes were instructed to line up in a straight line on the sidewalk. Well, who should be walking in the neighborhood, but little old Grandma. The young girl was frantic.
Sure enough, Grandma noticed her young granddaughter and asked curiously, “What are you lining up for, dear?” Not willing to let grandma in on her little secret, the young girl told her that some people were passing out free oranges and that she was lining up for some.
“Mmm, sounds lovely,” said Grandma. “I think I’ll have some myself,” she continued as she made her way to the back of the line. A police officer made his way down the line, questioning all of the prostitutes. When he got to Grandma, at the end of the line, he was bewildered. “But you’re so old… how do you do it?”
Grandma replied, “Oh, it’s quite easy, sonny… I just remove my dentures and suck ‘em dry!”
Tags: prostitution joke
Borat + job interviews… that’s all you need to know.
Tags: Borat job interviews
There’s an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery. One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, “If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I’ll quit!”
Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had “fallen.”
This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age. About a week after the new priest arrived, he visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.
The priest said, “You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen.”
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.
Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing about, your wife fell three times this week.”
Tags: confession joke
Tired of working in your office 8-5 every day? Why not try becoming a gladiator on American Gladiators? Yup, that’s right, NBC is bringing back American Gladators and is looking for some contestants and gladiators. Of course, there’s an application to fill out, and there’s a few weird questions you’ll have to answer…
The application starts with some normal questions like what is your occupation, what’s your highest level of education, etc. Then things start getting kind of odd starting with “How long have you been in your current relationship?” Ok, I guess that could be useful information for them to have since they’re looking for personality and all that…. but it just keeps getting weirder from there - such as the section that has you rating your skill level at certain activities. Which activities you ask?
- Being Bratty
- Manipulating People
- Risky Behavior
- Strategizing
- Street Fighting
- Tempting Opposite Sex
Don’t worry, it gets even better still! After a few more questions, you’re then asked to write a short poem or rap. Next to that you then must draw a picture of yourself.
I’ve never really looked at an application for a gameshow or reality show, but I imagine this one is fairly standard. I guess I now know how they get some of the crazy people they get!
Tags: American Gladiators, reality show application, gameshow application
1. It is time to clean out the refrigerator when something closes the door from the inside.
2. If it walks out of your refrigerator, let it go!
3. The best mini-vac for an after meal clean up is the dog.
4. Keep it clean enough for healthy, dirty enough for happy.
5. Never make fried chicken in the nude.
6. Do not engage in unarmed combat with a dust bunny big enough to choke the vacuum cleaner.
7. You make the beds, you do the dishes, and six months later you have to start all over again.
8. If guys were suppose to hang clothes up, door knobs would be bigger.
9. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
10. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
11. Simplify… hire a maid.
12: My second favourite household chore is ironing. My first being Hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
13. I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.
14. I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
15. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, “What? And spoil the mood?”
16. When writing your name in the dust on the table, omit the date.
17. If dusting is REALLY out of control, simply place a showy urn on the coffee table and insist that “THIS is where Grandma wanted us to scatter her ashes…”
Tags: housekeeping jokes, cleaning humor
Alright ladies and gentlemen… for those of you with an incredibly relaxed office whose managers and coworkers all have a great sense of humor, the following office prank may be the perfect thing for a Monday morning. Let me stress that this prank should only be attempted if you know that you won’t get in trouble - meaning you had better get approval by some higher ups first.
Requirements:
- Time (medium) - you’re going to be building a wall, or at least highering somebody to build a wall, this takes time.
- Cost (high) - to make a really convincing wall, you’re going to want to get the right materials and probably higher somebody who knows what they’re doing.
- Risk (high) - as I mentioned earlier, you had better get some approval beforehand because you’ll not only be wasting many people’s time, you’ll also be modifying the layout of your office temorarily.
Steps:
- Choose a hallway or office you want to block off with a wall.
- Hire somebody who knows what they are doing (or pick up a “Walling Up an Office Hallway for Dummies” book) and get a new wall built.
- Put plants, paintings, drinking fountains, and any other objects you can think of around the new wall to make it look more permanent.
Result:
For the best results, you should definitely wall up a hallway that is the route to multiple offices, as you’ll be able to get the reaction of many more victims. If you’re looking for a less distracting and perhaps easier prank, you could just wall up an existing office by turning a door into a fake wall. Hopefully you’ll get some great reactions as your victims first wonder if they’ve made a wrong turn, then try to figure out if they’ve been moved and/or even fired.
Below is the video inspiration for this post that will hopefully give you a better idea of what you can pull off.
Tags: office prank, practical joke
It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3-year old daughter Kathleen. When Heidi started going into labor, she called “911.”
Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet, and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help, and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!”
Tags: new born joke, birth joke
Andrew of from Jobacle sent me a link to Office Bingo, a game you play at work that has you looking out for your typical work activities - such as stinky lunch, random HR memo, and called by boss.
There’s a link to a pdf file for you to print out your Bingo card, though it’s more just for fun rather than an actual game. Too much of it seems to be on the honor system and the fact that you’d be using the same cards as everybody else may make it a bit boring to play in reality. You could always mix up where each action is so that everybody has different cards, and you could come up with some different actions that would better suit your office. Either way, it’s definitely a fun idea that you could definitely waste some time with.
Tags: office bingo, office game
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