A 7th grade teacher’s future employment may be in jeopardy due to some male genitalia drawings he had his students create for class. The drawings were for a health class in which the curriculum requires lessons in human anatomy and sexuality but the school’s spokeswoman said “this was just not appropriate.”
Honestly, I’m not sure what my take is on this. I do think much of society is overly sensitive and protective of children, and since the class does go over sexuality and anatomy, it does seem like the teacher did nothing wrong. Obviously we don’t have all the details, but from what it looks like, the teacher will likely be punished in one form or another.
File that under oh no, a penis outline!
Tags: teacher humor, human sexuality class, health class
A group of girlfriends go on vacation and they see a five-story hotel with a sign that reads “For Women Only.” Since they are without their boyfriends, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. “We have five floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It’s easy to decide, since each floor has signs telling you what’s inside.”
So they start going up, and on the first floor the sign reads, “All the men here are horrible lovers, but they are sensitive and kind.” The friends laugh and without hesitation, move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads, “All the men here are wonderful lovers, but they generally treat women badly.” This wasn’t going to do, so the friends move up to the third floor, where the sign reads, “All the men here are great lovers and sensitive to the needs of women.”
This was good, but there were still two more floors.
On the fourth floor, the sign was perfect. “All the men here have perfect builds, are sensitive and attentive to women, are perfect lovers, and are single, rich and straight.”
The women seem pleased but they decide that they would rather see what the fifth floor has to offer before they settle for the fourth.
When they reach the fifth floor, there is a sign that reads, “There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that it is impossible to please a woman.”
Tags: women humor, perfect man joke
I’m sure you’ve had thoughts of damaging company property in when you’ve been frustrated at work. Put down that blowtorch because the following video lets to experience that same release without being fired for burning down your own office.
Tags: office fireworks
The devil visited a lawyer’s office and made him an offer.
“I can arrange some things for you,” the devil said. “I’ll increase your income five-fold; your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you’ll have four months of vacation each year and live to be 100. All I require in return is that your wife’s soul, your children’s souls, and their children’s souls will rot in hell for eternity.”
The lawyer thought for a moment. “So, what’s the catch?” he asked.
Tags: lawyer joke, devil deal
Maxim Online has put up an incredibly entertaining list of the 50 lamest things of all time.
The list has some hilarious entries with some even funnier descriptions. Some of the better ones include:
50. Dogs in handbags
Wasn’t picking up their shit enough? If you need a pet you can carry everywhere, check out intestinal parasites.
40. Rappers who aren’t shot
We’re not saying that everyone needs to take nine slugs like 50 Cent, but one or two would be very much appreciated. Thanks, dawgs.
12. Soft-core porn
As pointless as a no-contact version of the UFC. The actresses are faking in hardcore, too, but at least they’re grinding in the general vicinity of the guy’s crank. (We demand plausibility!)
8. Vegan bacon
The key to good bacon is—stay with us on this one—pork. And no matter how much you pretend you love soy, that won’t change, kelp boy
There’s many more great mentions in the list so be sure to check them all out here.
Tags: Maxim, dogs in handbags
An older couple had a son who was still living with them. The parents were a little worried, as the son has no career plans, so they decided to do a small test.
They took a $10 bill, a Bible and a bottle of whiskey, and put them on the front hall table. Then they hid, pretending they were not at home.
The test was this: If the son took the money, he would be a businessman, if he took the Bible, he would be a priest, but if he took the bottle of whiskey, he would be a drunk.
So the parents hid in the nearby closet and waited nervously. Peeping through the keyhole, they saw their son arrive and read the note they had left him.
Then, he took the $10 bill, looked at it against the light, and slid it in his pocket.
After that, he took the Bible, flicked through it, and took it.
Finally he grabbed the bottle, opened it, and took an appreciative whiff to check the quality. Then he left for his room, carrying all three items.
The father slapped his forehead and said, “Darn, it’s even worse than I could ever have imagined. Our son is going to be a politician!”
Tags: politics humor, politician joke
Of all bills to skip out on, the hospital bill for your new born baby’s delivery is really a bad choice. The linked news story just goes to show that, just like with other service providers, hospitals may decide to hold back their “goods” until the client foots the bill.
I wonder what the hospital would do if the parents never pay? Raise the kid until he turns 18? Maybe train him to be a nurse or doctor once he’s old enough?
File that under still beats foster homes.
Tags: hospital humor
Memo No. 1:
Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity.
Memo No. 2:
Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles or moccasins.
Memo No. 3:
Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday’s wardrobe, remember image is a key to our success.
Memo No. 4:
A seminar on how to dress for Casual Day will be held at 4 p.m. Friday in the cafeteria. Fashion show to follow. Attendance is mandatory.
Memo No. 5:
As an outgrowth of Friday’s seminar, a 14-member Casual Day Task Force has been appointed to prepare guidelines for proper dress.
Memo No. 6:
The Casual Day Task Force has completed a 30-page manual. A copy of “Relaxing Dress Without Relaxing Company Standards” has been mailed to each employee. Please review the chapter “You Are What You Wear” and consult the “home casual” versus “business casual” checklist before leaving for work each Friday. If you have doubts about the appropriateness of an item of clothing, contact your CDTF representative before 7 a.m. on Friday.
Memo No. 7:
Because of lack of participation, Casual Day has been discontinued, effective immediately.
Tags: office joke, office humor, casual Friday
Facebook, a social networking site similar to MySpace but focusing on college students, has become a recruiting tool for the CIA. The CIA has set up a few pages explaining the criteria they are looking for as well as a YouTube promotional video.
I don’t know about you, but shouldn’t the CIA have better means of finding recruits than using a site like Facebook or MySpace? I could have sworn that they’re supposed to be able to keep track and keep tabs on just about anybody… you know… for security and all that.
File that under FBI to use MySpace next.
Tags: CIA recruiting, Facebook, MySpace
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned …couldn’t concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so …they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because …it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that …was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but …I just couldn’t cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef — figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just …didn’t have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I …couldn’t cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found …I wasn’t noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I ..didn’t have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I …just didn’t fit in.
I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I …couldn’t live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch, so I …tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company, but the work was …just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I …wasn’t up to it.
So then I got a job in a fitness-center, but they said I …wasn’t fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking and I …was discharged.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was …no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it …was always the same old grind.
Tags: work joke, work humor
Loading ...
