If you’ve never heard of the Yeti sports flash games, then you must’ve been living under a rock somewhere. The first one, which was probably the most popular, had you (as a yeti) swinging a giant club as a baseball bat to hit a penguin as far as you could. There have been sequels since then, and as such, somebody went ahead and made a compilation, dubbing it the Yeti Sports Olympics.
I do not condone yeti on penguin violence.
Tags: yeti sports, yeti flash game, penguins
In one of the more odd studies that I’ve heard of, English researchers have found that hanging posters with staring eyes cause workers to be less selfish. The results of the study showed that employees paid 2.76 times more for their breakroom drinks when they were faced with a poster featuring eyes staring back at them.
I wonder if their next study will have them hanging these posters on cubicle walls? If these magic posters can make people pay more money, surely they can make workers be more productive.
File that under a post of big brother is watching you.
Tags: selfish employees, big brother, posters
A Mexican bandit held up a bank in Tucson. The sheriff and his deputy chased him. When they captured him, and the sheriff, who couldn’t speak Spanish, asked him where he’d hidden the money. “No se nada,” he replied.
The sheriff put a gun to the bandit’s head and said to his bi-lingual deputy: “Tell him that if he doesn’t tell us where the money is right now, I’ll blow his brains out.”
Upon receiving the translation, the bandit became very animated. “Ya me acuerdo! Tienen que caminar tres cuadradas hasta ese gran arbol. Debajo del arbol, alli esta el dinero.” (he describes the location of the money)
The sheriff leaned forward. “Yeah? Well..?”
The deputy replied: “He says he wants to die like a man.”
Tags: joke, language humor, spanish
You won’t believe how lucky you are,
So lucky, yes indeed.
You started this job hoping to go far,
And far is where you’ll be.
It’s time for you to relocate
To a location far away.
I bet that you just can’t wait
And you won’t ‘cuz you leave today.
Now’s a time for you to rejoice,
So pack your bags okay?
Of course you don’t have a choice;
As if you’d want to stay.
You may miss your friends and family too,
But this move will suit you well.
There’s really nothing that you can do,
So goodbye, adieux, and farewell.
Tags: relocation, work poem, funny poetry
Nova Chemicals Corp. will likely lose $11 million in profit when a worker at a major Ontario plastics plant flipped the wrong switch, causing a process shutdown. The switch was supposedly a safety mechanism and investigations are still underway to determine the exact cause of it being triggered.
I don’t know about you, but I’d label the emergency shutdown switch better. Maybe put one of those clear plastic covers over it with yellow stripes along the sides like they do in the movies. I did check and the worker responsible was not named “Homer”.
File that under Doh!
Tags: Nova Chemicals Corp., emergency shutdown
An unemployed guy got a new job at the zoo. They offered him to dress up in a gorilla’s skin and pretend to be a gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo.
On his first day on the job, the guy puts on the skin and goes into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring.
During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He’s terrified and starts screaming, “Help, Help!”
The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, “Shut up or we’ll both lose our jobs!”
Tags: zoo humor, new job joke
If you’re looking for a good laugh out of an absurd article, check out this guide on how to retire in your 30’s. It’s got to be one of the most rediculous and meaningless articles ever writting. It’s a great example of the Office Terminology – Fluffery.
Below I will sum up the steps illustrated in the article:
- Figure out how you want to live during retirement.
- Make a lot of money.
- Lower your expenses.
- Invest wisely.
- Stay focused.
So, basically, if you want to retire as soon as possible, you need to make as much money as possible while spending as little money as possible. Great advice!
Tags: retirement guide, office terminology
Have a boss that won’t let you take any breaks? Show them this new study that shows how breaks may help you learn. The study actually focuses more on how taking breaks can help your memory using rats as test subjects, but it may be enough to convince your boss that ten breaks a day would be much better than two.
I can definitely see validity in the theory as it’s often during downtime or breaks that I find my mind wandering around thinking up new things. However, the key is whether or not your memory and learning are focused enough on your job, as I’m sure your company couldn’t care less if your discovering the meaning of the universe on your break if it won’t help the company’s bottom line. Either way, the study may be enough to help nudge your boss into giving you a bit more slack for your breaks, though it’s likely a long shot.
File that under I’m not sleeping, I’m learning.
Tags: work break, lunch break, rat testing
The neighborhood postman was retiring after 30 years. On his last day of delivering mail, all of the people on his route left him something in the mail box in honor of his retirement. Some left money, some left small gifts, and some met him at the door and invited him in for a drink.
As he was putting the mail in the mailbox of the last house, the door opened, and the woman of the house stood there in beautiful lingerie. She invited him inside and lead him upstairs where she made mad passionate love to him. After their lovemaking she lead him downstairs where she prepaired an exquisite dinner for him.
He found a dollar bill under his plate as he ate and asked her about it. She explained, “When I called my husband to tell ask him what we should give you for your retirement, he said, ’screw him, give him a dollar.’ Dinner was my idea.”
Tags: retirement joke, retirement humor, postman
Okay, so the title doesn’t really explain what the heck I’m talking about, but gimme a break, it’s tough to explain. If you know what a spirograph is (those old plastic disk things that you could stick a pencil in an draw weird spiraling shapes), then think of that combined with some mouse movements controlling it in a flash application. Still doesn’t make any sense? Fine, just go over and see it in action.
While you’re trying it out, try listening to some music and making mouse movements to the beat. It’s oddly addicting. Swirling motions make the dots create more “swirling” type lines while straight movements make hard lines. Also, try clicking the mouse button to change the type of dots.
Tags: spirograph, flash