For vice officers of Hillsborough County, getting a lap dance or two is just all part of the job. In fact, they spent $6,400 for more than 90 lap dances during an investigation involving nudity and liquor laws.
The lap dances, alcohol, and drinks eventually led the officers to 41 nudity charges against 15 dancers at the Lil Tootsie’s nightclub. 34 dancers were unable to be identified for charges however.
File that under what if I’m looking for big tootsies?
Tags: Lil Tootsie’s, lap dances, vice officers
There’s this guy in a bar who is just sitting there just looking at his drink. He stays like that for a half hour. Then, this bully steps up to him, takes his drink and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The bully says: “Oh, come on man! I was just joking. Here, I’ll buy you another drink. I can’t stand to see a man crying.”
The troubled fellow replies: “This day is the worst of my life. First, I get fired for oversleeping and getting to work late. Then, I’m leaving the building and find out my car was stolen. I get a cab to return home, and forget my wallet and credit cards in the cab. Then, I find my wife in bed with the gardener.
So I end up at this bar, and just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.”
Tags: bar humor, drinking joke
Okay, so I’m pretty sure the following video wasn’t meant to be funny, but it sure turned out that way.
Tags: office correction video, funny office meeting
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. “If I gave you $1,500 minus 3%, how much would you take off?”
The secretary replied, “Everything but my earrings.”
Tags: secretary joke, office humor
If you think you work too much you can try downloading the Workrave, a program that alerts you when you should take breaks and get away from the computer to prevent Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI).
You can set it up to alert you when it’s time for micro-pauses, exercise breaks, rest breaks, and even specific exercise breaks. I think it could definitely be a great tool to help you “unplug” once in awhile, especially if you feel as if you sit in front of your computer for too long.
Tags: Repetitive Strain Injury, Workrave
In the beginning, there was the Plan. And then came the Assumptions. And the Assumptions were without form, And the Plan was without substance. And darkness was upon the face of the Workers. And they spoke among themselves, saying, “It is a crock of shit and it stinketh.”
And the Workers went into their Supervisors and said, “It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof.” And the Supervisors went unto their Managers, saying, “It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it.”
And the Managers went unto their Directors, saying, “It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide it’s strength.” And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, “It contains that which aids plant growth and it is very strong.”
And the Directors went unto the Vice President, saying, “It promotes growth and it is very powerful.” And the Vice Presidents went unto the President, saying, “This new Plan will actively promote the growth and vigor of the company with powerful effects.”
And the President looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good. And the Plan became Policy. This is how Shit Happens.
Tags: office humor, work humor, shit happens
Sometimes people work too hard, especially programmers. The below video shows just what happens to a relationship when one person is a programmer workaholic.
Tags: programmer workaholic, funny programmer video
Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty at the Office, But Aren’t:
10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop.
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I’ll gag!!.
6. I want it on my desk, NOW.
5. HMMMMMMMMMM…..I think it’s out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It’s an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you’ll be getting off today?
1. It’s not fair…I do all the work while he just sits there.
Tags: office humor, things that sound dirty
If you sometimes wish you could just leave work in the middle of the day to go home and have sex with your loved one, perhaps you should move to Russia. Not only are workers being encouraged to do just that, they are being promised incentives such as appliances, cars, and cash if they make any babies to help the countries downward spiraling population.
File that under talk about a morale booster.
Tags: Russian population, office morale
A man happens upon a friend and sees that his friend’s car is wrecked and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt, and blood. He asks his friend, “What happened to your car?”
“Well,” the friend responses, “I ran into a lawyer.”
“OK,” says the man, “that explains the blood… But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches, and the dirt?”
“Well, I had to chase him all through the park.”
Tags: lawyer joke
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