Loading ...Okay, so it might not be the greatest invention ever, but an electrical outlet with adjustable angles is still pure genious. I can’t believe it took this long to develop such a device. Seems simple enough… guess everybody is too busy trying to think up new cures and smaller iPods.
File that under why didn’t I think of that?
Tags: outlet, inventions
If you are surfing through Myspace.com right now, perhaps you should read this news story about a man being caught soliciting sex from an undercover police officer posing as a 14 year old.
Actually, if you are soliciting sex anywhere from a 14 year old… you should be placed into the “friendlier” sections of a prison, making sure to let all your new cell mates know what you were convicted of. I’m sure at least a few of them have young daughters and would love to hear all about you.
File that under hand that man some soap!
Old accountants never die, they just lose their balance.
Old actors never die, they just drop apart.
Old archers never die, they just bow and quiver.
Old architects never die, they just lose their structures.
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Old basketball players never die, they just go on dribbling.
Old beekeepers never die, they just buzz off.
Old bookkeepers never die, they just lose their figures.
Old bosses never die, much as you want them to.
Old cashiers never die, they just check out.
Old chauffeurs never die, they just lose their drive.
Old chemists never die, they just fail to react.
Old cleaning people never die, they just kick the bucket.
Old cooks never die, they just get deranged.
Old daredevils never die, they just get discouraged.
Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old doctors never die, they just lose their patience.
Old electricians never die, they just lose contact.
Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
Old garage men never die, they just retire.
Old hackers never die, they just go to bits.
Old hardware engineers never die, they just cache in their chips.
Tags: work humor, jokes, grow old
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to see a gynecologist. The doctor took one good look at this woman, and his professionalism was a thing of the past. Right away, he told her to undress.
After she has disrobed, he began to stroke her thigh. As he did, he said to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes.” she said. “You are checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “Correct.” said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts. “Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked. “Yes,” said the woman. “You are checking for any lumps or breast cancer.”
“That’s right,” replied the doctor. He then gradually proceeded to having sexual intercourse with her. “Do you know,” he pants “what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes.”
Tags: gynecologies, doctor, joke, humor
Kids. Don’t try this at home. Darwin award perhaps?
Tags: bike stunt, darwin
A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.
Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post operation shock, spoke to the doctor about it. “Don’t worry about a thing, nurse,” the doctor assured her. “He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic.”
A new study was just released that claims to reveal that American workers are feeling less productive these days. The study surveyed a 1000 random workers and compares the results to a similar study that was done in 1994.
To summarize what the study says, workers are less productive and this is due to the advancements in technology. The study claims that with all the emails, voicemails, cell-phone calls, etc., that people are distracted and pulled from one project to another.
I personally think this is untrue. The study doesn’t actually prove that people are less productive, just that they feel less productive. This may be related to increases in technology, because like the article says, technology has sped things up quite fast making the entire work environment a much more speedy operation, perhaps one that workers cannot keep up with. However, if a worker cannot keep up with the technology, this doesn’t mean that they aren’t as productive as they would be without the technology. We aren’t comparing who can work faster, a computer or a human. We are comparing whether or not somebody without a computer can work faster than somebody with a computer. I think it’s fairly obvious what the answer is there.
Actually, there may be some truth in the technology curbing productivity. I mean… if you’re here reading this right now, you aren’t being quite as productive now are you?
File that under people worked better before fire was discovered.
Tags: productivity, technology
If you’ve had a tough day at work, maybe you need to unwind… perhaps drinking 3 beers in 13 seconds might help take the edge off.
I wonder how long before the guy has to hit up the bathroom. Three beers consumed that fast can’t stay in the system that long.
Tired of the iPod, or all the iPod look-a-likes? If so, check out this list of the top 10 strangest MP3 players.
I don’t want to give away the whole list, but a few notables include a toilet MP3 player, a PEZ MP3 player, and my personal favorite, the NES controller MP3 player (featured on the right).
If you could hide your MP3s in something, what would you use? I asked my girlfriend that question, and she said her bra. Now I have no idea why she needs music coming from her cleavage, but she is Canadian, so who knows what she’s thinking.
Tags: mp3 players, ipod, nes
A person who had just retired from his job writes:
I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
Go pick up the paper and read the obits.
If my name isn’t there,
I know I’m not dead.
I get a good breakfast and go back to bed.
Tags: retirement, joke, humor, poem
