Since shopping is still probably on everybody’s minds, I offer up another batch of office gifts, this time focusing on desk toys and other desk goodies.
“Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.”
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young student confidently. “Means carrying a child.”
One evening a man drove his secretary home after she had worked late at the office and wasn’t feeling well enough to drive herself. Although this was an innocent gesture, he decided not to mention it to his wife, who tended to get jealous easily.
Later that night the man and his wife were driving to a restaurant. Suddenly he looked down and spotted a high-heeled shoe half hidden under the passenger seat.
Not wanting to be conspicuous, he waited until his wife was looking out her window before he scooped up the shoe and tossed it out of the car. With a sigh of relief, he pulled into the restaurant parking lot.
That’s when he noticed his wife squirming around in her seat. “Honey,” she asked, “have you seen my other shoe?”
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s artwork. As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.”
The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.”
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, . . . . “They will in a minute.”
An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other and says to the waiter, “Want coffee.”
The waiter says, “Sure chief, coming right up.” He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee. After drinking the coffee down in one gulp, the Indian turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, then just walks out.
The next morning the man returns. He has his shotgun in one hand pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, “Want coffee.”
The waiter says, “Whoa, Buddy! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?”
The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Training for upper management position. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.
This prank is very similar to the tin foil prank, but instead of using tin foil, you use a bunch of post-it notes.
Requirements:
- Time (high) – it’ll take a long time posting notes everywhere. If you want to do a good job and cover everything, it will take a few days, if you leave spaces it can be done in a day or less (depending on coverage).
- Cost (low) – the Post-It notes don’t cost much, especially if you buy in bulk.
- Risk (low) – it all cleans up pretty easily and shouldn’t damage anything, but you will be defacing company property so get some approval if need be.
Steps:
- Buy a bunch of Post-it Notes
.
- Stick them everywhere.
- Take some pictures and send them in!
Result:
If you stuck them side by side covering every inch, you’ll get an amazingly cool result. Even if you leave spaces in between it’ll really be a hilarious prank. You can check out a few examples by going here or here. You can choose to write stuff on the Post-its for extra fun, but it’s probably not worth the time invested.
Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn’t do something about it.
So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.
Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.
“Boss”, he said, “The pill actually worked!”
“That’s all fine” said the boss, “But where were you yesterday?”
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money.
The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn’t been paid.
The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying, “We can’t ship your new order until you pay for the last one.”
The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call, “Please cancel the order. We can’t wait that long.”
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job.
“Why did the foreman fire you?‿ the friend asked in surprise.
“Oh,‿ Peter said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.‿
“We all know that,‿ replied his friend. “But why did he let you go?‿
“Jealousy,‿ answered Pete. “All the other workers thought I was the foreman.‿
Loading ...– The coolest mousepad ever.
– A 6″ lava lamp that plugs right into your USB port.
– An illuminated Christmas tree that’s powered by USB.
– Small bendable magnetic robots to play around with.
